Monday 28 May 2012

Word of the day


Azymite

 n. A member of a church which uses unleavened bread for consecration in the eucharist; especially, a designation applied by controversialists of the Greek Church to a member of the Latin or Western Church, or to an adherent of the Armenian or of the Maronite Church, which also use azyms [Unleavened bread, or a loaf of unleavened bread, especially the bread eaten among the Jews at the time of the Passover].

Offended Catholic theophages apparently returned this bizarre insult by calling Greek Orthodox eaters of yeasty communion snacks Fermentarians or Prozymites.  

 Which two mighty powers [Lilliput and Blefuscu] have, as I was going to tell you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty's grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During the course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these: 'that all true believers break their eggs at the convenient end.'


Gulliver's Travels



Sorry, Pastafarians, I think your satire just become obsolete.

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