God bless local newspapers!

So how can you tell me you're lonely and say for you that the sun don't shine? Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of Carlton. I'll show you something to make you change your mind. Viz:

Couple return from holiday to find grass by their street cut to different lengths 

The horror... the horror...

There are loads of similar headlines, lovingly curated over at Angry People in Local Newspapers, but there's something about Different Grassgate in particular that makes me feel as happy inside as an MDMA-fuelled lab rat in a Swedish furniture maze.