This makes perfect theological sense to me. The evidence for the existence of Godzilla is precisely as compelling as that for any other deity. Also, as The Book of Common Prayer reminds us, the primary purpose of the institution of matrimony is to frighten the kiddies:
First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.
OK, got that, number priority numero uno is scaring the offspring witless. Unfortunately, churches tend to undermine the clarity of this message by making the incarnate daity rather less than terrifying. Not only does He bless the peacemakers and advocate turning the other cheek, but children actually get to sing about how He was 'little, weak and helpless' and that:
Christian children all mus be,
Mild, obedient, good as He.
If your mission statement for marriage is explicitly about scaring the bejeezus out of the wee ones, a God who manifests Himself as little, helpless, meek, mild, obedient baby just isn't going to cut it.
The obvious solution is to worship a two hundred-foot-high, radioactive, fire-breathing mutant lizard instead. That'll frighten the little blighters into unquestioning obedience. Job done.
Move aside, Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster; there's an even newer religion on the block. Make way for the First Church of Godzilla©.
Come to think of it, a confrontation between The Flying Spaghetti Monster and Godzilla would make one hell of a great film. Now I'm in L. Ron Hubbard mode, I might as well be thinking about the movie rights:
I'm not enough of an expert on Pastafarian theology to know whether the Flying Spaghetti Monster can actually fire laser beams from what we'll call, for the sake of convenience, His head, but it just seemed artistically right.
Hat tip.
0 comments:
Post a Comment